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A divorce does not have to be acrimonious

When people get divorced, it can sometimes be assumed that the split was bitter and that the couple at best dislikes each other. It is also generally assumed that the pair will never be able to be friends. However, neither of these scenarios has to be true. Two people can decide to go their separate ways and retain a friendship after the fact, if that's what they choose to do.

Couples with children possibly have the most to benefit when it comes to maintaining some sort of positive relationship. The children will force the pair to be in each others' lives at least until they are grown, and most likely they will be thrust together again when they become grandparents. Also, since many divorced parents now were the children of divorce, they could be trying to avoid the uncomfortable situations that their parents caused for the benefit of their own children. For many, however, it just makes more sense to be happy to see each other rather than dreading any possible interaction.

Of course, there are times when maintaining any type of a relationship after a divorce is ill-advised. For example, if one spouse was abusive, mentally ill or has a substance abuse problem, it might be best to maintain distance between them. If the spouse with the issue makes changes, then the idea of friendship after divorce for the sake of the kids can be revisited.

Basically, a post-divorce relationship for people in the San Diego area and all around the country consists of whatever the pair chooses. For a couple who is splitting up, speaking to an experienced legal professional can help the process go smoother and make salvaging a friendship from the remains of the marriage that much easier.

Source: USA Today, "Ex-spouses can get along — and not just for the holidays" Sharon Jayson, Dec. 23, 2013

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